Marvel's Jessica Jones!
Cool.
By the same people who did Daredevil.
Wicked cool.
Gritty Film Noir hard drinking private eye drama complete with with voiceovers and a glass door with her name on it.
Sooooo cool.
And she has superpowers!
I love you.
And a lot of PTSD and abandonment psychological issues.
Um...still cool...I guess.
Cuz it makes for an awesome psychological thriller.
Oh...okay, in that case VERY cool.
Cause we more or less drop the voiceovers and Film Noir vibe after the first three episodes anyway.
Oh...well that could still be awesome if you play up on the psychological drama.
Oh we do, but not before we wander though a lot of other territory.
Really?
Oh yeah, for a big chunk there it just turns into a really creepy rape trauma body horror revenge thing...
Um...
With lots of borderline torture porn.
...
Just barely above a snuff film at times really...
...
Did I mention the dismemberment scenes?
Um no.
...
...
(ahem.) DAVID TENANT!!
AWESOME!!
He's the villain!
STILL AWESOME!
He wears a lot of purple!!
I don't care...STILL AWESOME!!
He's a mind-controlling rapist!
Uh...okay...that depends on how you play it...but...
He whines a lot!
What?
Like the whole series, he just totally whines, the whole time.
Seriously, why the heck would you hire Tenant and just have him...
Luke CAGE!!
What? oh...AWESOME!!
Superhero sex!
AWESOME!!
LOTS of SUPERHERO SEX!
FRIGGIN' AWESOME!
LOTS AND LOTS OF SUPERHERO SEX!!
Okay, kinda less awesome.
THREE SEX SCENES IN ONE EPISODE!
Yawn.
That do nothing to advance the plot or develop the characters...
Dude...
And then Luke leaves for most of the series.
Really?
But he comes back at the end.
Oh...okay
But he spends most of it knocked out.
What?
With Rosario Dawson's nurse character from Daredevil.
Oh. Okay that's cool.
But she just exists to tie into the larger shared universe and doesn't do much.
Um..
I mean she hints around a lot but never even uses Daredevil's name.
Well...okay.
FIGHT SCENES!
AWESOME!
MORE FIGHT SCENES!
AWESOME!
Fight scenes that are just people wailing on each other and throwing other people into walls because we didn't hire the guy who choreographed the great fight scenes for Daredevil.
Decidedly LESS awesome.
...
...
LESBIANS!!
Really? Well I guess that's cool...
OLDER LESBIANS!
Um...
But one of them is Carrie Anne Moss and there's also one younger hot blonde one.
OH! well okay then...
But no Lesbian sex.
...
I mean we tease the heck out of it...but don't really show anything.
...
And we spend a lot of time on this divorce subplot with Carrie Anne Moss that really isn't crucial to the main plot.
...
Oh and a druggy neighbor, AND a creepy brother/sister pair of neighbors that are super weird and annoying...I mean, we are talking REALLY annoying, but don't worry, most of those are only created so we have plenty of disposable victims you don't care about for the villain to kill cause you know we aren't killing of Luke or Trish because they are major Marvel properties.
...
Oh, and an older black cop detective close to retirement.
...
We kill him in a totally offhanded way.
...
And he doesn't even get killed by the villain.
Shut up.
Did we mention the random Marvel villain shoehorned into the story that is part of some weird secret military experiment to create superwarriors that goes horrible wrong and causes the subjects to go insane?
Get out.
